Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Who died my cat blue again?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
