you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
