She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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