he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
