dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
