you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
