i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
