We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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