his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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