walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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