Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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