who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
