soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize