he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
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She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
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The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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