she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack