We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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