I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's shark week go big or go home
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
