I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
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That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
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This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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