Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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