I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
