yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i may or may not be watching the land before time
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
