I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Even my vagina gasped.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
