the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
