we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My cat gives me a boner
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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