I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
