Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
