I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
