not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize