There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
