i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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