alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
