Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
