Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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