You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
