At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
