When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize