This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
