I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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