Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
