Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
