just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
