he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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