At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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