Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
