It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
