i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
