I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
