i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
