It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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