just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize