Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
