do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
