They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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