worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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