For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
