I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
