if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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