How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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