I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
