You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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